You can’t just look at me and see the many things that I’ve been through. I’ve worked tirelessly and with much success to overcome the things that would and has caused many people to suffer with depression, anxiety, drug abuse, suicidal thoughts, and many times suicide. I commited myself to finding comfort and healing even in the mist of my many storms. I’ve shared my lifes story before but here are (some) of my life experiences that weren’t so pleasant; I had a parent with an addiction, I’ve been a victim of molestation, attempted rape by a friend, childhood home destroyed by fire at the age of 16, loss of my pregnancy, identity theft, emotional abuse in a relationship, loss of a sibling to suicide, the passing of one of my best friends and I was even electrocuted by a live wire at the tender age of three years old (permanently scarred on both hands). These things have truly molded me into the person I fought and chose to be today. But there is one thing that has nudged at my being since as long as I can remember. One thing that I cannot get over out of all of the many HORRIFIC experiences I’ve encountered.
It is the fact that I have never had or seen a baby picture of myself. This is something that eats at me and leaves me with a yearning to create memories with a child of my own. I don’t know why this is the situation that causes such unrest. Maybe its the not knowing what I looked like in the very beginning that creates an unsettling feeling. Even some adopted children have baby pictures. I know that there are maybe millions of others who don’t have their baby pictures but I often wonder, What went wrong? Where is the hospital photo? I had both parents, a healthy birth but no pictures. Maybe one day I will not feel so incomplete without this. Maybe I will find one, or maybe GOD needed me to be exactly who I am by seeing the BIGGER PICTURE.